i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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