She said her name was "party"
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head