at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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