one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This baby is an asshole
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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