that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
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it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
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my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize