Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
