Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize