Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
