How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
