he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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