the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
