I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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