Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
