We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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