I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
third nipple confirmed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
