I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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