Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
