No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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