i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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