i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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