well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
