still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
