I wish I only lived at night.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
