Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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