i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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