is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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