she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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