I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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