I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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