wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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