He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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