the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.