It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
