I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
false alarm, still single
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