Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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