I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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