smell my finger.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize