dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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