what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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