The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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