Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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