Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
