he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
