I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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