ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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