saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
