I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just high enough for therapy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
