I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
did you just send me my own nude
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
