keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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