Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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