I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
