I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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