You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
