Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
