its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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