I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
