I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
