I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
