she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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